L.A.

I've got to get home he said, Clear my head,
This woman is a rain cloud in my mind

I've got to get home he said, lay in my bed,
Cause this world is not yet better than my dreams

He said I've got to make it home, I'm all alone,
In a sea of lovers I'm drowning like a rat

I've got to get home he cried, Lord knows I've tried,
But her fleeting heart beats like a child

~ Harmonica ~

I've got to get home she says, been mislead,
I try to run but he's got me by the tail

I've got to get home she says, this never ends,
I'm a little girl on a merry-go-round

She said I've got to make it home, find my own,
where I'm the only claim on his heart

I've got to get home she cries, dry my eyes,
Cause every other day they're full of tears

~ Harmonica ~

We've got to get home they scream, far from this dream,
reality is an ocean away

Maybe one day they'll see, its meant to be,
For now they just need to get home

Still (rough)

I rise with the light changing shifts with the night,

I step and I roam, this street leads to God’s home,

Where he whispers so sweet to those all alone,

Your prayers I hear, your answer is clear,

Love me and I’ll take all you hold dear,

 

Bobbing heads in silence and stops down the road,

A gun-slinging moment as they stare at your soul,

Eyes search for hope as they look out the dirty windows,

They are lost they are found, broken and drowned,

In the sorrow they fight all their life to bury in the ground,

 

Chorus:

We all want peace in our souls,

A light at the end of the road,

Don’t fade away like the brightness of day,

So please, God rest our souls

 

State Hospital bed gets too hard for his head,

Many sleepless nights as they take all his rights,

Say, you must pay for the crimes you’ve done,

Like a flower he wilts, a lifetime of guilt,

Torn down are the towers of joy that he once built.

 

Calm waters  of my life are but a dream,

Winds silence my anguished screams,

 

Waves roar like the kings of the past,

Will the storm shatter my weary mast?

Peace be still my soul

Peace be still my soul

Peace be still my soul

 

Sonnet

In his stable Locked, he longs for those golden fields,

To dry the saddle sweat in the warm air,

Chomping at the bit, my bridle he does yield,

Longs for the summer breeze sifting through his hair,

Has escaped many times I fear he’ll never learn,

Bloody legs, lost breath, and a broken soul,

A dead sprint across the hills no thought of his return,

In my absence he proves, an absence of control,

I have the right mind to put him away for life,

It’s hard for me to see the scars on his legs and side,

His spirit overwhelming it’s hard to bear strife,

I must admit we both enjoy the ride,

I hope to see the countryside where we ride as one,

But how many times can he break before he comes undone?

Road of Paradise

Left you in the arms of your mother dear,
Needed the open road to pull me through,
Where the moonlit desert sky calls, "we got all you need,
Let our pavement and yellow lines comfort you"
Like a rattlesnake I warned you, stay the hell away,
My poison will drop you to the earth

Chorus:

My engine is roarin', fueled by my rage,
Will I make it home to you?
these four wheels are turnin', I pray they roll my blues,
Into that big ol' burning sun...I'm on the road


The smell of sage and dust rise with every mile,
And my heart drops at every turn,
lonely truck stop dinner where the waitress hates her life,
She smiles at me, but her eyes say its a lie,
The horizon holds the mountains, they never seem to come,
Their purple haze never fades away,

Chorus 

My petitions to the Lord vanish in the wind,
They never make it to the sky,
I know my lies have twisted like the branches of our tree,
Where we'd run and share our broken dreams,
So tell your angry father and your sweet mother dear,
They'll never see my face again

Chorus

Try Check'em

I have a different blog for my travels and experiences in Jerusalem. Try look: http://holylandhoozer.blogspot.co.il/

Finished with BYUH

So last Friday was the last day of my field practicum or internship in Kaneohe. I was there for 14 weeks. I enjoyed my time there despite the many times I was bored and very under utilized. Conversely, there were many times where I had more responsibilities and wonderful experiences that helped me learn more about the social work field. The agency I interned at was called the Ko'olau Clubhouse, it is a Psychosocial Rehabilitation agency for those who suffer from the effects of Mental Illness. Working at the Clubhouse has offered some personal direction with the type of rehabilitation and intervention that I would want myself to be associated with and be apart of in the future. I have learned that I would like to be apart of the clinical side of the mental health profession. I have given much thought to working with the elderly population or gerontology. I would like to have more exposure to this sector before I throw myself into the profession. Time and experience will tell, I still have to get my MSW before I really land in a specific vein of social work. As for leaving Hawaii, this place has been so good to me and I love this island so much. It has offered me some of the most intimate and special moments in nature I have ever experienced. I have grown to love the culture and the people I have met here at BYUH so much. There have been many individuals that have helped me to be a better person and I thank them. I will get on the plane on Monday August 6th a different man that first stepped off in December of 2009. I have grown academically, socially, spiritually, and musically. I have gained a better outlook on life, and hope to continue to refine that outlook and attitude. I have learned from mistakes and found joy in my accomplishments. I know that the Lord has given me such special moments here in Hawaii to help me in my life, the people that I was blessed to get close with, the things that I have learned, the safety in which I was kept in, the waves I caught, and the hardships I was given. Such a good life. I have been blessed to have the experience of studying abroad in Jerusalem at the BYU Jerusalem Center! I am really excited to go and learn and be spiritually fed. I am also excited at the opportunity to meet new people and to enjoy all that they have to offer. But first I go to California to visit my Family, I love them so much and will thoroughly enjoy my time home.

Northern Blessings

Last week the North Shore was blessed with a solid little swell. I surfed backyards Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. On Wednesday evening my friend Gideon and I surfed after we both got off of work. The joy that we experienced was indescribable, in the words of Gideon, "I wish I could share this with a girl, every time I try to explain to them this feeling I fail to find the words." Now I have surfed my whole life and I have been in the water hundreds of times, but there are a few experiences that I would describe as indescribable. This night was one of them with its light crowd and even lighter winds. The waves were really good and proved to be a little inconsistent, but there were not complaints of waiting because the sunset created a scene like a burning furnace of clouds and light which seemed to create a serene sentiment. When we would duck-dive under the water we would open our eyes to see the sunset through the moving water. Before the sun lost its glare there were particles of rainbow in above the lush green mountains of the North Shore. This may seem very pretentious or dramatic, but it is me attempting to articulate the feelings and events of this memorable day.  

LA Kings Win the Stanley Cup!!!!!!

I have been following the Kings closely for over 8 years, since Mattias Norstrom was the Captain. I must thank my good friends Dave, Ryan, Matt, Tim, Evan, Brad, Jeff, and John for getting me into the Kings. I don't follow many sports, all my friends are into the Dodgers and the Lakers, but I could never get into those teams and sports, but there was something about Hockey that I was drawn to. It is the only sport I've ever followed and really enjoyed. I loved playing hockey with my friends growing up after school and on the weekends. I have to thank Big Dave Jarman and John Gleason for taking me to Kings games over the years, truly memorable times. The LA Kings have been one of the worst teams in the western conference since I started watching them.. The last three years they have improved, but I never thought that this year they would triumphantly hoist Lord Stanley's Cup above their heads. I was stoked to see them even make the post season as the 8th seed. And what happened over the next weeks was something that I will never forget. They became a new team, breaking out, scoring, and fore-checking like had never seen before. It is surreal that they won the Stanley Cup yesterday!!! I am SUPER STOKED!!!!!! GO KINGS GO!!!!!

Mantener el fuego encendido

Reasons I am a member

My Bishop asked a very simple and profound question to me a week ago and these are my thoughts regarding the question. As a preface some of these answers may seem generic and cliche but they are things that I have really pondered and that I deeply believe.

The question is: Why are you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

• Because the lord has blessed me with so many intimate moments of love and the feeling of his  spirit. It is in these moments when i feel the spiritual connection to the eternal and know that God knows and loves me.

• Because I have been given a testimony and know through the spirit of the things I must do, and those things are pertaining to this church.

• Because I want to live with my family for all eternity.

• Because I fear God.

• Because I love God and Christ.

• Because I was raised in the church and it is my culture.

• Because it brings me peace when I need it.

• Because I need the ordinances.

• Because I want to go to the celestial kingdom.

• Because I want to live forever with my future wife.

• Because my savior has suffered, died, and rose from the dead so that salvation can come to me. With the restoration of the gospel I know that the atonement is fully offered to me through the ordinances of baptism and the sacrament. I cannot be perfect, so through the atonement, I have a weekly cleansing which is the vehicle of my exaltation.

• Because I have had a profound spiritual experience and now know through the spirit that Joseph Smith is the prophet of the restoration. 

• Because I have had a profound spiritual experience and know that there is a living prophet today.

• Because it's true.

• Because I feel the love and bond between church members.

• Because I am a sinner.

• Because I choose Christ once before in the pre-existence and I have a testimony of that.

• Because I have been baptized and have made a covenant and promise to God to obey His commandments.

• Because I've been given the priesthood and have made a promise to God to honor it and use it.

• Because I have made covenants and promises to God in the temple and I must strive to keep them.
  

That old wind

when I meet my true love how will I know?
some say its like the feeling of the first time you see snow,

some say its like the mountains, so firm and tall,
standing in their shadows makes you feel so damn small

some say its like the ocean, vast, wide, and deep,
who can take your precious life away with one foul sweep,


I think its like that old wind, without a face or form,
I can feel its power well before I fear the storm,


your innocence infectious, your beauty steals my speech,
I pray to God everyday to keep you within my reach

The Line

The lions leap and dance,
As my old  body rests,
On paper and rolled up pants,

The boy's faith is strong,
In my old arms,
Sometimes I wish you knew,

Chorus:
Move Hands, legs please hold,
Head last for me don't get fogged,
Back please don't give on me,
I wish the Boy were here to see

Pulling me across this blue,
My hand is bleeding through,
The line connecting me to you,

When loneliness clouds my mind,
I see the birds fly by,
The sea, she'll never leave me alone,

Chorus

The devils are rushing in,
They circle round,
Come to take you from me,
My arms are too old,
I swear they know,
That I will lose this fight

Papa (Final)

Desert drive, what a dread,
How I miss your smile,
Windmills spin all through the night,
Hunting snakes in the glow of your headlight

Windy roads and new faces,
George cursing with a smile,
Lake Isabella they gone the way of the earth,
Please take them and keep them well


Chorus:
Papa the hills stay gold,
Sunset still takes my breath,
Winter's chill eats right through my skin,
And I am still missin' you

And those times your face get somber,
Tears form in the pit of your eye,
As you told me life stories of regret,
So you say to live my life right



Chorus

I know the earth now holds your body,
And your spirit's soaring home,
I swear there are times when I feel you near,
I know I'll never be alone

Chorus

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

I recently finished reading this book and absolutely loved it. It was a short read, but I feel that I was immersed into the story, I was invested in the character of Santiago and tried to understand his relationship with the the boy, Manolin, and the fish. I thoroughly enjoyed the language and imagery that Hemingway articulated throughout the book. I love the ocean and all that it offers. I love the idea of people who understand the ocean so much that they can read it like a daily newspaper. Also, the endurance of the old man was inspirational to me to press forward and to always give life my full effort. I read somewhere that one concept of Santiago symbolizing Christ. I found this very interesting; The old man would carry his mast across his shoulders, his hands getting cut, the boy's attitude of worship towards him, it was a three day ordeal, and other subtleties. Some of my favorite quotes are:

"Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same color as the sea and were cheerful and undefeated."

"He left the smell of the land behind and rowed out into the clean early morning smell of the ocean"

"It is better to be lucky, but I would rather be exact. Then when luck comes you are ready"

"Fish, I love you and respect you very much, but I will kill you before this day ends."

"He looked ahead and saw a flight of wild ducks etching themselves against the sky over the water,
then blurring, then etching again and he knew no man was ever alone on the sea."

"Let him think I am more man than I am and I will be so"

"You are killing me, fish, the old man thought. But you have a right. Never have I seen a greater, or more beautiful, or calmer, or more noble thing than you, brother...I do not care who kills who."

"He took all his pain and what was left of his strength and his long gone pride and put it against the fish's agony."

"But man is not made for defeat...a man can be destroyed but not defeated."


I also plan on writing a song about this book, but I am very picky and since I love the book so much it will probably be a long time coming cause I want the quality of the music and lyrics to do the book justice and also reflect my personal experience with this book.

Aloha Monday

I have Monday's off from my internship and this Monday was my first one off. It was absolutely Bitchin'! It started with a logging session at Chuns with bruddah Trey and bruddah John. The sun was shinning and the crowd wasn't too heavy. We then went to lunch at Stortos which is always a delight. We then rushed back to watch the LA Kings game, they beat the St. Louis Blues 5-2 in game #2 of the semifinals!!!! I was ecstatic!!! After the game Aaron, John, Todd, and I went to Pounders and body-surfed. It was big out, and there were some more bruddahs and friends in the lineup, Mark Winchell and Caleb Bishop. Aaron and I stayed till it got dark, just enjoying one of the many activities that fuels and strengthens our friendship. After Pounders we went home and changed then Matt, Aaron, John, Sophie, and I all went to Haleiwa Eats for john's going away dinner. We witnessed a gnarly fender-bender. After dinner we went to Trey's FHE in the CAC and had root beer floats, then we went to the backyard house and played ping pong and hung out. Just a day full of great activities, some would call it a super Monday and I would say to them, "that's probably good".

Blessings for days

So I realized recently that I will never really comprehend how blessed I am. I look around me everyday and see such beauty and I go out in the water and participate in one of the most dreamed about activities (surfing on the North Shore of Oahu). To be here has been a blessing and has come at the cost of others, both directly and indirectly, but still because of them. I have worked hard at my schooling these past 2 1/2 years here at BYU Hawaii and I have worked a few jobs while I have been here to help support what I can of myself, but the reality is, there would be no way I could have finished my schooling so fast if it weren't for certain individuals and tithing from the church. Recently I have been really short on money, leaving me to have two scoops of peanut butter for breakfast and sometimes dinner. I don't want to make this more than it is, but it has been for about a week and a half now. I have had $30 in my desk drawer set aside for tithing, which has proved to be very tempting at times, but since I have been withstanding the temptations I have been receiving blessings like crazy. I have had a few friends offer to buy me dinner, even at my refusal they still insist. I have had groups in my classes present on their project then bring food for refreshments, I have had my boss at work show up with Polynesian bread and lilikoi jelly, and today I had someone leave a note on my car with $2o in it. I can not stress enough the blessings of the Lord. I have faith and trust in the Lord that as I am faithful and keep his commandments I will be blessed and taken care of.

Papa (rough draft)

Desert drive, what a dread,

Spinning windmills up ahead,

A shaking voice bids our return,

We Ride in silence with concern

Despite it all He still tried,

If only time was on his side,

Then his blowing in your chest,

Would've stopped eternal's rest

Chorus:

But you will not be forgotten,

That smile that'd light up my eyes,

A heart so big so tender,

Hard to believe you left this life.

A bleak day dressed in black,

In my tears I look back,

hunting snakes with your flashlight,

Old western movies in the night.

Matching hair cuts in town,

I was a king, you were my crown,

Lake Isabella you gave me so,

smile from my papa across the boat

chorus

Chimney House Show FEB 5, 2012

BYU Jerusalem

I am in the process of applying to BYU Jerusalem! I am really excited about it, I have always wanted to go have that experience. I found out last semester that I could attend up to six months after I graduate, so since I graduate in the next couple months, my next step is the Jerusalem Center! It is an expensive endeavor but I have no doubt that it will be worth the money. I am super stoked on it!!!!!!

Reading

I have been reading a lot for school lately...well always, but lately I've been grateful that I am literate. Though I wish my vocabulary and reading comprehension were at a greater place then they currently stand, it is truly a blessing to have the ability to read and learn new things.

Those Rolling Hills

You left your family,

Found home in my arms,

Your eyes they pulled on me,

A power in your charm

But Winter has come and gone,

Winter has come and gone

We'd lay, I'd hold your feet,

And we'd share our lives,

Friends and family,

Our triumphs and our plight

But Winter has come and gone,

Winter has come and gone

In love, but never said,

For fear of what that'd bring,

I know it was in your head,

And in the songs we'd sing

But you have come and gone,

you have come and gone

Hope you enjoy your freedom,

On those rolling hills,

With the sun warming your soul,

the breeze running in your hair

Just know that I forgive you,

And pray that you succeed,

So don't look back my darling,

forgive and forget me.

Sip

Click on the link "sip" for a rough recording of the song. I went to my friend Justin Chen and Devin Babccok's house last night to jam and ended up recording this song. Pretty stoked about it. Its definitly not polished, there are some guitar parts that are a little rough, but I like the way it came out. Devin is a beautiful pianist and singer, as well as Justin Chen. They both made it sound good. The lyrics are below. Enjoy :)

Sip

drive these familiar roads,
and I'm tuning in,
seems that the radio,
knows where I've been

I never address this feeling,
I just put it all away,
and cling to my false hope,
that it'll be the same again someday

Chorus:
Cause this well has run dry,
pulling up empty pales of promise,
swimming in a desert of cement,
and all I need is a sip

my father's body's aching,
mothers hope is shaking,
my little brother's running,
from everything he believes

in this place of love,
I manage to feel alone,
this is the place I grew up,
but it's not longer home

Chorus

My lips are cracked and dry,
they thirst for so much more,
I need a place where I,
can drink and thirst no more

Kona Winds

This past 3 day weekend was really good for the East side of Oahu. The Kona winds were blowing, meaning almost dead winds/slight off shore winds on the east side, and with a wrap from the north swell it made for bitchin' waves. I surfed Cheverons which was my first experience there, it was a little inconsistent but super fun on the sets. Then I surfed 7th hole in Kahuku, this too was my first experience there (the last two years I lived in front of Kakellas so I just surfed there). 7th hole was unreal!!! Super uncrowded and firing!!! The last 45 min were really frustrating for me though, and it ended with broken leash. It is a super long paddle and I was completely wasted after. Monday I surfed Gas chambers briefly, caught one good sized wave, got drilled on two and took a few sets on my head then went in. It was like 4-5 occ 6 Hawaiian. I later went out to Kakellas, it had been a long time since I've surfed there, It was smaller, but really fun. Overall, a good weekend for surfing!!!

School

Here we go, my last semester in the classroom for my undergrad!